surreal urges

...

2005-11-23T04:11:00.000-08:00

Young Love

2005-11-23T04:04:00.000-08:00

There was indeed a discipline
It was just that we did not understand it
We thought it formless
And yet were tormented by an order outside of it…

But how we tore at it
We devoured the shreds in our effort to own it
And yet it was immediately on top of our lives
Showing us lost accidental paths..

Changing direction with each step, sometimes in the middle
Using each other as springboards
To reach higher planes, and yet connected by rubber bands..
That brought us back together with overwhelming violence…

Those days everything was jammed into everything..
The pain, the gentleness, the excitement, the euphoria..

…everything…

Vagabond

2005-06-17T10:31:00.000-07:00

Only the birds that soar the skies
Can cast their shadows off on earth,
My imagination flies with them,
I am but its shadow on the dirt..

So oft when my impetuous feet,
Carry me to fields unknown,
I sit back and let them catch their breath,
So they may then take me home.

Mutiny

2005-05-09T23:32:00.000-07:00

There are little green men inside my head,
They've got a war going...
...they're shooting each other dead..

(haven't written this...just using it to test the mail to blog feature!)

The stray that came to stay

2005-05-07T05:39:00.000-07:00

Was that one stormy night in December…
So long ago, I remember
That I laid my wet nose (with its sorrows and freckles)
..on your knee
And you let it be..

Inseparable we...

your friends became my friends
your enemies, my foes
You sighed for my sighs
and wept for my woes (..while I was bright-eyed morose)
And so it came to be..

Indestructible we...

to this day we stand..(..me, a little behind you)
Connected by some shiny invisible band
I was that stray..
..and you..(.. my darling, darling you..)
You let me stay..

To my muse

2005-05-06T05:36:00.000-07:00

Poetry and prose
Seem morose
Pentameter and rhyme,
Old-fashioned...out of time,
Just when I think that none can inspire,
More than weak and insipid desire..

..suddenly I see your face..
and time and space,
Indeed, grammar and grace
..just slip into place!

Indecision….

2005-05-05T05:31:00.000-07:00

mine is a willowy life...
and I grow ill..
and weary still
…of nonsense strife

for meandering in endless debate...
I wander here..
and flitter there
..at an alarming rate.

oh will me to be blind
so I would not see..
how it would be
..to change my mind.

With Apologies to Yeats

2005-05-02T05:24:00.000-07:00

Hands, do as you’re ask’d…
Bring the wandering spirit..
that circles the soaring skies,

Back to its present task.

2005-05-01T22:42:00.000-07:00

I keep a picture of you in my top rack,
And every night I talk to you..
And put it back.

...

Itch

2005-04-28T20:17:00.000-07:00

Was yesterday that I thought of you
..your walk, your smells
the scent of you..
the smell of sunlight and perspiration
Your work worn hands
with their chewed off nails,
The creases that mark
your otherwise uncluttered brow,
The secret mole under your arm..

Each a story, a discovery, an event!

I will think of you again tomorrow,
And scratch the dull itch of missing you

Smokescreen

2005-04-27T04:23:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder if my thoughts,
Would stand up as decorations of sorts,
Or if they’d work as a big smoke screen,
Through which I’d look quite serene,
Maybe I’ll pile them up and paint them red,
Fashion them into posters for my four-poster bed,
Or grind them into pulp so fine,
They’d make for heady intoxicating wine,
If I stuck some wicks and little handles,
I’d have myself a gazillion candles,
But I know that in the end all I do,
Is rhyme and write
To you.

Remote Control

2005-04-24T04:21:00.000-07:00

It's a pity that this should be,
Time to write more poetry,
For my pen slips, commits hideous crime,
Instead of its usual produce of fair rhyme.
How I wish that I could emote,
At the click of some tiny freakish remote.
Then I'd say sunny and it would so be,
The sun casting shadows through languorous tree.
My fledgling verse could then take flight,
And bask in the warmth of the bright sunlight.
I'd never say "rainy" for it does so happen,
The cloudy weather does far dampen,
And ruin my rhyme of the day....
And that's all I have to say.

On First Mistakes

2005-04-21T04:20:00.000-07:00

And then there was failure…
And the future,
Indeed the whole world
looked bleak
..and hard …and cold …and uncaring
Its taste was the bitterness of prejudice
..the hot salt of my tears
..and sour as the curses
that lined my tongue

But what made it worse, were the
shattered expectations
spewed across the path

Each a callous and cutting blade
I had to walk upon.

With bated breath

2005-04-17T04:19:00.000-07:00

I brace myself in solitude
for just one sound
among a sonorous multitude.

I strain to hear it’s delight
like a little girl waiting to hear
the tooth fairy’s footsteps in the night.

I listen as I embark
on a lengthy battle with sensibilities and
silent raging storms in the endless dark.

I don’t dare breathe
For fear that the shallowest whisper
Might cause it’s retreat

For I’ve heard sometimes love arrives like that..
It’s sound the solitary plop...
Of a teardrop on a muddy lake.

2005-04-14T04:18:00.000-07:00

Your tight movements,
So smooth and sleek
May make other girls weak
In the knee..

But not me
You see..

For the efficient grace
With which you dominate the space
Around you
Puts me off..

And I long
To belong
To Random Gestures.

2005-04-09T10:16:00.000-07:00

You crashed my party …uninvited
A philanderer?
A knave?
Apprehensive
But unafraid.

It was my birthday
You did not know
Absent-minded?
Not in the know?

A few friends. Not a real party.
Nothing indeed to write home about.

And I watched as you made the night shine stars.
Made metaphors
Magnificent.

Yet I did not thank you as I left your house
The next morning.
You were, after all…
Uninvited.

Infidelity

2005-04-04T07:23:00.000-07:00

Gargantuan lies,
Stretch languorously,
In the lazy stillness of your room
And look on,
As the rich funk rises….

I scrub hard
Lady Mac Beth-like,
At imaginary stains…
And my knees buckle
As I vomit forth
These frozen epitaphs

That lay caught,
…distraught…

In my heart.

When in love...

2005-04-02T03:39:00.000-08:00

You love figures
...I love yours...
You count on your fingertips,
Even as I kiss each one awake,

You eye me quizzically,
Trying to solve the equation of love
Yet you draw away even as I,
Draw from you

Tell me....
what does that leave us with?

...

2005-03-28T01:12:00.000-08:00

In silence I bore
Your harsh words
As they ripped, shred and tore
Through carefully cultivated
Layers of self-confidence.

In silence I looked on
As you rocked our little boat
As you would rock a cradle
Casually, yet with infinite care
You pushed each and every one of my buttons

My thoughts made little bubbles over my head
Their reflections on the floor
Caused you to see my anguish
And even though the muscles on my face
Never moved. I did. I left.

I wonder if there is an after-life for dead relationships
For disbelieving dead eyes pierced by sharp shards of broken dreams
A waiting room for broken hearts
To wait patiently for the impossible re-union
Of separate lives and destinies

Her Little House

2005-03-25T06:04:00.000-08:00

Lamps in stained glass
Little pools of gold
Like islands of ossified silence
Low seats and cushions on the floor…
..to keep her from drifting away.

And the fragrant air is heavy with unsaid words..

She cleans the counter tops
With her little yellow duster
As she tries to muster
The strength
….to gather her Uncollected Thoughts.

That no shelf can hold….

in between

2005-03-23T23:26:00.000-08:00

Somewhere in between my coffee and my bath…

Some half remembered smell
Fills memories in my nostrils
And I think of easier times…(or were they?)
Of you…
Your way with words..
Your silences
Your advances & my retreats
Your opinions & my reproaches
Your victories & my defeats
And I try to fathom
Every wraith, ghost and phantom
In my head…

Somewhere in between my bath and bed.

...with bated breath

2005-03-22T06:02:00.000-08:00

Little Places

2005-03-18T06:00:00.000-08:00

Too small indeed to be a hole
But big enough to hold a soul

The shape of my grandfather’s scar
Or your virginity lost in a tattered blue car

My father’s eyes, your mother’s smile
His accusations versus her denials

How one word laden with mistrust and malice
Can make your fingertips seem hard and callous

I can feel you growing distant..
Fitting response to my resistance

And when the ritual coupling’s done
I resist the urge to get up and run

Could it be that these little places
Have slithered into our embraces?

tilt

2005-02-22T03:20:00.000-08:00

Just a test post this. Watch this spot!